With a week to before official weigh in it didn't look for me make the number I had to to win. I spent the week trying to be very mindful of everything I was putting into my body and my workouts were in beast mode. Every day I tried to give myself a goal of how many calories I wanted to burn. I took a deep breath, said a little prayer, and got on the scale. Woo hoo...I made it!!! So for month two I won $32.72 with my two month total winnings of $50.69. I told myself I can't wait until the last week to keep doing this. The reason I did this DietBet was to get myself back on track, and it is working to a point, but it also got me to where I am back to being obsessed with "the numbers" again which was definitely a huge hindrance for me after I reached my 100 pound goal last September and one of the reasons why I fell apart for the last quarter of the year. Four more months to go with this DietBet. I only have 2.1 pounds to lose in the 3rd round....I should be able to do it, but we shall see. I'm not sure yet if I will do any official weigh ins, but I might randomly jump on the scale just to check in to see where I am and avoid things from getting out of control.
Fast forward to now...The last week has found me once again struggling with the one thing that is always going to be my achilles heel on this whole journey.....the FOOD!!!! Let's face it, I LOVE food - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Through this journey I have found things that would have never tried a couple of years ago and have fallen in love with. I have stayed away from certain things and then after a period of time tried them again and didn't miss them at all. Quite frankly, I was pretty happy they did nothing for me when I tried them again. But then there are the things that I tried again and oh how I still love them. I have done a lot of reading on food addiction and while I think I definitely have this problem, the fact remains there are things that just push my buttons and just make the "old" me rear its ugly head. The me that could easily sit down and eat a large pizza in one sitting, the one that could consume thousands of calories without even blinking an eye or probably even taking a breath. I have learnt so much between then and now but those feelings and thoughts are still there. I try to take each day one at a time, not beat myself up about the bad decisions, and get up each day with a fresh start. As I have said before and will say many many many more times.....this is not a diet and will forever be a lifestyle change. I can only hope that the bad days get smaller and fewer over time and that just the look or thought of a certain food won't make me cower into a corner with fear.
I need to get back into my healthy eating habits and keep it going for the next month. This way when I go home for vacation in 40 days it won't all just fall apart. I know it is vacation and I know there will be things that I will enjoy that I normally don't but I know that if I am back into my good habits it will be easier to stick to the good stuff without wrecking things completely.
With the bad eating, I immediately see where it affects me.....my midsection. Not that this "fat girl" will ever have abs of steel but when I am eating right the exercising that I am doing has definitely decreased the size of my gut.
While I know that number on the scale does not define me, my successes or failures, I do know that the number does need to go down more (even though my Mom thinks I need to stop losing). In my current state I am still considered obese and I know to try to avoid future problems with my health I know I need to get out of that column. What that final number should be for me personally....I haven't a flipping clue. I'm hoping that my body will know when that time is. Until then, I have so much more work to do.
All right, enough about the food because I might get hungry again and it is almost time bed. I know what I need to do, I just NEED TO DO IT, enough said.
I have been doing a lot more biking in the last week. I managed to go out three mornings before work and have strung together some nice rides. I have logged 100 miles in the last week and have 641 miles since I got my bike. Pretty good, since my goal was to put 500 miles on my bike before the end of summer. The miles add up pretty quickly and sometimes it is so easy to realize you are getting such a great workout because you are having so much fun.
I signed up for my first charity ride this week. The local biking group I joined, the Western Maryland Wheelmen, is doing this charity ride in August. I have chosen the open to ride the GAP from Cumberland to Frostburg, which I have done before. I'm hoping to get some others around me to join me but if not I am going to try to use this ride as one to improve the time of the first time I did this route. The charity ride also has a bunch of road ride options with different mileage. Maybe next year I can do one of those instead (well, if I finally break down and get that road bike next Spring...we shall see). I also went to my first membership meeting this week. I really enjoyed it. It seemed like a pretty good group of people and I got a huge surprise. During the meeting this one lady was talking about something and I thought that voice sounds really familiar. At the end of the meeting I went up her with so much excitement. I had met Mary during the first time I took the Change to Win class at the hospital. It was so great to see her and know that she is part of this group. I was also approached to be a Trail Ambassador. It may not seem like a big deal to most, but I am so excited about this. I think the opportunity to get out there do something you enjoy and be able to help people, promote this wonderful trail that we have in this area, and keep a great program like this going is awesome. I need to do a little homework. I know I've lived down here 11 years now, but there is still so much about the area I don't know. I need to start checking out local places so that when people ask about places to stay, eat I can give them educated answers. I also need to learn more about the bike so that way if someone needs some help I can try to offer some kind of assistance. I did learn to change a tire in bike class. Let's just hope I remember how to do it, although deep down I really hope I never have to. I've met some pretty great and nice people on the trail. If I can help anyone out, or even answer a question for them....it would be pretty cool.
I'm still doing my thing at the gym, although it has been scaled back for sure since I am doing more biking, and that is OK. I try not to miss Zumba on Monday, because let's face it I LOVE LOVE LOVE to dance!!! Zumba is just so much fun, is a great thing to do after a busy Monday work day, and I get to see those around me that make me smile. Sometimes I will try to add Body Combat afterwards but whether I do or not depends on my schedule and what else is going on. Tuesday mornings are usually 6AM Body Fusion. I haven't been making as many of these lately....either because of morning bike rides, being out of town for baseball games, or just having a hard time getting out of bed. Tuesday nights are hit and miss. Every other week I have my weight management support group at the hospital, so on those weeks I don't have group I have been wanting to do the weekly Wheelmen ride on the GAP but every time I haven't had group it has rained. The one Tuesday that it rained I was able to get into Spin class, which I love. So I'm glad I can still fit that in. Wednesday I try to Zumba or Combat but it depends on the schedule or whether I do a bike ride. The one night I have been missing all-together is Thursday. This used to be the night I would take Booty Barre followed up by Body Pump. I really miss this night. I'm really hoping to get back into both of these. Booty Barre is tough though and to be honest being out of it for so long, I am a bit scared. It is an ass kicker for sure. But in the past it was one of the classes that reinforced to me how important it was to eat clean. Eating clean made this class, and in particular the ab section a little easier. So it definitely scares me...but I will get back in there, and hopefully soon. Friday morning is 6AM Combat. This has been hit or miss too depending on a bike ride. I've been trying to also spend morning if I am not riding by just getting some time in on the treadmill but that has been slacking. When I'm not riding the bike in the morning, I just have a really hard time getting out of that comfy bed. But I figure it is OK some mornings. Gotta rest sometime right???
Weekends are usually dependent on the weather because of bike riding. I figure if the weather is nice, I should be outside. But when it is raining....spin is definitely where I like to be, Combat if I can get out of bed, and on Sunday morning Pump. I didn't do any of them this weekend. I felt like a little bit of a slacker. Saturday morning was spent in bed catching up a friend after not sleeping well that night and then Sunday I knew I had to sleep in if I could.
So exercise is always there, in many different forms, types. The exercise helps with so many different things. It makes me happy, it helps get me through a tough day, it is my anti-depressant, my social outing, my everything. I think of the day that I thought ewwww sweat, but now I love it when I sweat...
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