Conquering Dakota

Can you believe it....a during the week post plus I just posted a couple of days ago.  Maybe I'm going to get better at this whole blog posting more often thing...ha ha ha.  Don't start holding your breath.  Today just felt like a post worthy day.

Sunday evening was a great night sleep which was a rare thing over the weekend.  When the alarm went off at 5 AM my first thought was to turn over and enjoy a couple more hours of sleep but I wanted to try to start the week off on the right foot.  So I got up, got ready, and headed to the gym.  If I got there when they opened at 5:30 I would have time to get a workout in and then come home and get ready to work.  On the plus side, I had made two days worth of salad so that was one less thing that I had to do in the morning.  I spent an hour on the treadmill.  Usually a fast walk, I was pretty happy that this morning I was able to slow jog (or as I call it slog) for 30 of my 60 minutes. 

 That's the most I have done at one time and I felt pretty good.  My knees were feeling great.  So I finished my workout, went home, showered and got ready for work.  I even made time to make breakfast, and no not a bowl of cereal.  I had a couple of eggs, a couple of turkey sausage patties, and half of a flatout.  Good to know that if I can plan ahead, have my lunch already made, and no loiter in the morning, I can have the time to make a good hot breakfast.

So I got to work and the day was going well until a couple of hours in.  A wicked bad headache was setting in, to the point it was making me sick to my stomach.  Automatically I knew what it is.....that damned time of the month.  Really????  Mother nature was going to screw with my plan to get things back on track this week.  I fought through the work day, managed to make it as productive as possible.  At 3:30 though I hit a wall.  It was getting harder and harder to focus and concentrate and with the glare coming from my computer screen, I had had enough.  I was really hoping I could fight through it because Monday was Zumba night.  I had also decided that I was going to try to do Combat class afterwards but I knew there was no way I was going to be able to do it.  So I ended up canceling my classes, went home, and crawled into bed.  I dozed off for a couple of hours, got up and felt a little better.  I had a little bite to eat, called Dad, and went to bed early.  No time on the computer or FB that night.

Tuesday morning my alarm went off again at 5 AM.  My head was feeling so much better, but not feeling my finest or at 100%.  But I have found that during that time of the month even though sometimes it is hard to fight through, I know unless it is one of those days that I can barely function (which you never know when it is going to happen), I tend to get some relief and feel a little better when I am exercising.  I had already taken lunch to work the day before so I knew I didn't have to worry about that.  I had also taken my bike to work on Monday.  I like keeping my bike at the office during the week.  That way I know it is already there and makes it easier to decide to do those short morning rides before work.  So I got up, got dressed, and packed a bag with some work clothes and another change of clothes for a bike ride and headed out.  Tuesday morning is Fusion class with Megan which is a mix of Body Pump and Body Combat.  I love the combination.  Had a good class, showered, changed into my biking clothes, and was going to head to the office to get my bike.  But I was starving.  I hadn't had any breakfast yet, and the only thing I had packed was some oatmeal and I knew that wasn't going to cut it, especially if I was also going to do a bike ride.  I had some time so I actually stopped at Bob Evans and enjoyed a nice breakfast...scrambled eggs, sausage patties, home fries, and wheat toast.  YUM!!!  That hit the spot and I didn't feel like I was eating horribly.

I got to work around 8AM.  My co-worker Mark was already there and had already left on his bike so I knew I was on my own.  I figured I would just head down to the canal and back, just a little short cruise.  I am thankful the GAP trail is not very far from the office.  You have to ride on the road a little, but then you are there.  However, to get on the trail you have to go up Dakota Avenue....this wonderful hill.  Since I started riding from work I have probably been on Dakota 30 plus times.  Each time walking up the hill until I get to the trail.  There have been days where I start riding up and think I'm going to make it today and for whatever reason (my brain says no, my body says no, a car comes down the hill, I start in the wrong gear, etc.) I never make it up.  Today I really hadn't thought much about it but before I knew it I was halfway up the hill.  That little voice in my head said "OK, now is about the time you give up".  I thought no way, not today, I AM going to make it all the way.  And I did!!!  Once I got to the trail, my heart was beating like crazy, my legs were like rubber, and yes I started to cry.  I made it!!!  My first thought...oh no, no one was here to witness it.  UGH!!!  After taking a few moments to gather myself and get my heart rate down and legs working properly, I went on my ride before work.  I got around 7.5 miles in.

Work was work....numbers, numbers, numbers, rec sheets, blah, blah, blah.

The weather today was BEAUTIFUL and I had originally signed up for gym classes.  But Tuesday night the Western Maryland Wheelmen do a couple of rides, one on the road and one on the GAP.  I haven't yet made a Tuesday night ride.  Every other week is my weight management support group at the hospital and every week I haven't had my group it has rained.  I knew I needed to cancel my gym classes and get outside for a ride.  So glad I did.  The ride starts from the Canal.  I debated on driving my car down but I knew I wanted to leave my bike at the office for a ride tomorrow morning so I figured I would just ride down from the office.  So, for the second time of the day I faced Dakota and I made it up without stopped or walking again.  While this may not happen every day, today just seemed like the perfect day and I felt really accomplished.  I know it's just a little hill, but I tend to get in my own head and tell myself I can't do things.  The fact that I did it twice in one day and given I wasn't feeling fabulous I was pretty happy.

It was nice to some familiar faces and lots of new ones down at the Canal.  I even got a hug which is always nice.  There were so many more people going out for the road ride.  I thought someday I will join the road ride, maybe next year with a road bike, but until then I joined the GAP ride.  I enjoy this ride but I must admit I really wasn't feeling the incline after going up Dakota again and feeling all crampy and icky.  But I told myself just go a little ways and then you go back to your car.  I figure I need to do this ride at least once a week from now until the charity ride.  I would like to be able to improve on my Cumberland to Frostburg time on the day of the charity ride.  I started off riding with a couple of ladies that I met but eventually I ended up passing them both and was riding by myself.  I made it past Dakota, Manteo, Cash Valley, the Brush Tunnel, and was still going.  It's normally a two hour ride but I wasn't sure if there was spot that they usually went to.  There was a couple of people that were ahead of me.  I thought if I see them coming back, I will turn around and head back.  A couple of the wheelemen that were doing the ride were behind me and staying in the back to stick with those pulling up the rear.  I really like and appreciate that they do this.  It can be pretty intimidating to join a ride with seasoned veterans and worry that you are going to hold people up or not keep up.  They really welcome everyone and want you to be comfortable and really just get out there and ride.  I knew I was getting to a point where I was ready to turn around and all of a sudden I heard people coming up behind me.  Then I heard "you're almost there, just right around the corner".  I went from I'm done, to I can finish this.  I kicked it into another gear and pushed to get to Woodcock Hollow.  It felt good to make it to the regular turnaround spot.  I rested for a little bit and then made the decline ride back, which of course is always the best part.  Usually the wheelmen meet at a local restaurant and have dinner.  I really wanted to do this but I knew I had already had dinner made, am trying to keep with my plan (although this is going to be difficult in the next few days given that TOM), and I knew I needed to make my lunch for the next couple of days so I could avoid going out and getting something else (more than likely unhealthy) for lunch.

During this time I tend to get two very big craving.....chocolate and salty.  I knew I didn't have any chips in the apartment (phew) but when I opened the fridge to get the stuff to make my salads I was reminded of a purchase I had made a few weeks ago while on a trip to Sam's Club in Altoona.  I like to keep some dark chocolate in the house for when I have a chocolate craving but usually I buy the package of individually wrapped Dove dark chocolates.  I didn't do that this time.  This is what was in my fridge -

So after dinner of course I had to have one.  I may have to find someplace to hide these for the next couple of days.  At least it is dark chocolate and that is good for you?????

Allright, I should be going to bed, gotta get some sleep (lots of fresh air tonight so hopefully a good night's sleep).  Up again early tomorrow.  Either some gym time then a bike ride or just a bike ride before work.  Lunch is ready in the fridge, gym bag and clothes for work packed, so nothing much to do in the AM besides get my ass out of bed and moving. 

A good day.....Goodnight!!!   :)

Back to the basics

Let's start with the numbers since my last post.  On July 15th I had to weigh in for the end of the 2nd month of my DietBet.  Let's just say I was pleasantly surprised with the results. 
 
With a week to before official weigh in it didn't look for me make the number I had to to win.  I spent the week trying to be very mindful of everything I was putting into my body and my workouts were in beast mode.  Every day I tried to give myself a goal of how many calories I wanted to burn.  I took a deep breath, said a little prayer, and got on the scale.  Woo hoo...I made it!!!  So for month two I won $32.72 with my two month total winnings of $50.69.  I told myself I can't wait until the last week to keep doing this.  The reason I did this DietBet was to get myself back on track, and it is working to a point, but it also got me to where I am back to being obsessed with "the numbers" again which was definitely a huge hindrance for me after I reached my 100 pound goal last September and one of the reasons why I fell apart for the last quarter of the year.  Four more months to go with this DietBet.  I only have 2.1 pounds to lose in the 3rd round....I should be able to do it, but we shall see.  I'm not sure yet if I will do any official weigh ins, but I might randomly jump on the scale just to check in to see where I am and avoid things from getting out of control.

Fast forward to now...The last week has found me once again struggling with the one thing that is always going to be my achilles heel on this whole journey.....the FOOD!!!!  Let's face it, I LOVE food - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Through this journey I have found things that would have never tried a couple of years ago and have fallen in love with.  I have stayed away from certain things and then after a period of time tried them again and didn't miss them at all.  Quite frankly, I was pretty happy they did nothing for me when I tried them again.  But then there are the things that I tried again and oh how I still love them.  I have done a lot of reading on food addiction and while I think I definitely have this problem, the fact remains there are things that just push my buttons and just make the "old" me rear its ugly head.  The me that could easily sit down and eat a large pizza in one sitting, the one that could consume thousands of calories without even blinking an eye or probably even taking a breath.  I have learnt so much between then and now but those feelings and thoughts are still there.  I try to take each day one at a time, not beat myself up about the bad decisions, and get up each day with a fresh start.  As I have said before and will say many many many more times.....this is not a diet and will forever be a lifestyle change.  I can only hope that the bad days get smaller and fewer over time and that just the look or thought of a certain food won't make me cower into a corner with fear.

The quote about is SO true.  I remember that period of time last year that I gained back those 20 some pounds.  I was still at the gym doing my regular normal schedule and was killing it, but I was eating like crap.  So, after too many indulgences lately it is time to get back on track with the food.  To get the ball rolling today I got back into planning and prepping my meals for the week.  For me, this is a huge part of my past successes.  My week tends to get so busy and if I know I don't have anything prepared at home I will stop and get something.  Sometimes I pick a healthy option, but not always.  I'm hoping this big step will be the catalyst and big step forward again.

I need to get back into my healthy eating habits and keep it going for the next month.  This way when I go home for vacation in 40 days it won't all just fall apart.  I know it is vacation and I know there will be things that I will enjoy that I normally don't but I know that if I am back into my good habits it will be easier to stick to the good stuff without wrecking things completely.

With the bad eating, I immediately see where it affects me.....my midsection.  Not that this "fat girl" will ever have abs of steel but when I am eating right the exercising that I am doing has definitely decreased the size of my gut.

While I know that number on the scale does not define me, my successes or failures, I do know that the number does need to go down more (even though my Mom thinks I need to stop losing).  In my current state I am still considered obese and I know to try to avoid future problems with my health I know I need to get out of that column.  What that final number should be for me personally....I haven't a flipping clue.  I'm hoping that my body will know when that time is.  Until then, I have so much more work to do.

All right, enough about the food because I might get hungry again and it is almost time bed.  I know what I need to do, I just NEED TO DO IT, enough said.

I have been doing a lot more biking in the last week.  I managed to go out three mornings before work and have strung together some nice rides.  I have logged 100 miles in the last week and have 641 miles since I got my bike.  Pretty good, since my goal was to put 500 miles on my bike before the end of summer.  The miles add up pretty quickly and sometimes it is so easy to realize you are getting such a great workout because you are having so much fun.

I signed up for my first charity ride this week.  The local biking group I joined, the Western Maryland Wheelmen, is doing this charity ride in August.  I have chosen the open to ride the GAP from Cumberland to Frostburg, which I have done before.  I'm hoping to get some others around me to join me but if not I am going to try to use this ride as one to improve the time of the first time I did this route.  The charity ride also has a bunch of road ride options with different mileage.  Maybe next year I can do one of those instead (well, if I finally break down and get that road bike next Spring...we shall see).  I also went to my first membership meeting this week.  I really enjoyed it.  It seemed like a pretty good group of people and I got a huge surprise.  During the meeting this one lady was talking about something and I thought that voice sounds really familiar.  At the end of the meeting I went up her with so much excitement.  I had met Mary during the first time I took the Change to Win class at the hospital.  It was so great to see her and know that she is part of this group.  I was also approached to be a Trail Ambassador.  It may not seem like a big deal to most, but I am so excited about this.  I think the opportunity to get out there do something you enjoy and be able to help people, promote this wonderful trail that we have in this area, and keep a great program like this going is awesome.  I need to do a little homework.  I know I've lived down here 11 years now, but there is still so much about the area I don't know.  I need to start checking out local places so that when people ask about places to stay, eat I can give them educated answers.  I also need to learn more about the bike so that way if someone needs some help I can try to offer some kind of assistance.  I did learn to change a tire in bike class.  Let's just hope I remember how to do it, although deep down I really hope I never have to.  I've met some pretty great and nice people on the trail.  If I can help anyone out, or even answer a question for them....it would be pretty cool.

I'm still doing my thing at the gym, although it has been scaled back for sure since I am doing more biking, and that is OK.  I try not to miss Zumba on Monday, because let's face it I LOVE LOVE LOVE to dance!!!  Zumba is just so much fun, is a great thing to do after a busy Monday work day, and I get to see those around me that make me smile.  Sometimes I will try to add Body Combat afterwards but whether I do or not depends on my schedule and what else is going on.  Tuesday mornings are usually 6AM Body Fusion.  I haven't been making as many of these lately....either because of morning bike rides, being out of town for baseball games, or just having a hard time getting out of bed.  Tuesday nights are hit and miss.  Every other week I have my weight management support group at the hospital, so on those weeks I don't have group I have been wanting to do the weekly Wheelmen ride on the GAP but every time I haven't had group it has rained.  The one Tuesday that it rained I was able to get into Spin class, which I love.  So I'm glad I can still fit that in.  Wednesday I try to Zumba or Combat but it depends on the schedule or whether I do a bike ride.  The one night I have been missing all-together is Thursday.  This used to be the night I would take Booty Barre followed up by Body Pump.  I really miss this night.  I'm really hoping to get back into both of these.  Booty Barre is tough though and to be honest being out of it for so long, I am a bit scared.  It is an ass kicker for sure.  But in the past it was one of the classes that reinforced to me how important it was to eat clean.  Eating clean made this class, and in particular the ab section a little easier.  So it definitely scares me...but I will get back in there, and hopefully soon.  Friday morning is 6AM Combat.  This has been hit or miss too depending on a bike ride.  I've been trying to also spend morning if I am not riding by just getting some time in on the treadmill but that has been slacking.  When I'm not riding the bike in the morning, I just have a really hard time getting out of that comfy bed.  But I figure it is OK some mornings.  Gotta rest sometime right???

Weekends are usually dependent on the weather because of bike riding.  I figure if the weather is nice, I should be outside.  But when it is raining....spin is definitely where I like to be, Combat if I can get out of bed, and on Sunday morning Pump.  I didn't do any of them this weekend.  I felt like a little bit of a slacker.  Saturday morning was spent in bed catching up a friend after not sleeping well that night and then Sunday I knew I had to sleep in if I could. 

So exercise is always there, in many different forms, types.  The exercise helps with so many different things.  It makes me happy, it helps get me through a tough day, it is my anti-depressant, my social outing, my everything.  I think of the day that I thought ewwww sweat, but now I love it when I sweat...

So until time here's to keeping on track, trying to eat clean, getting my sweat on, and forever finding that balance between all things in life, and above all loving myself for who I was, who I currently am, and who I strive to be.

A Busy Summer So Far...

WOW....I haven't posted in my blog since May 24th.  That is horrible!!!  I'm really sucking at keeping up with the whole blog thing.  My problem is every time I think about doing a post I think oh I don't have enough to write about.  Then I get busy and now there are so many things.  What I need to try to do is stop thinking something is too small.  Even if a post is a few short paragraphs, at least I'm keeping up with things.  That being said, as much as I have missed blogging I have to say it really is more important to be out there doing things and keeping active instead of sitting in front of the computer.

So, what's been going on with me since I last posted...

In May I started my DietBet.  As I had previously posted the reason for doing the DietBet was to get myself back on track by putting a little money on the line.  I am doing the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans "Commit To Your Fit" transformer game.  The transformer game is 6 months long and in that time you need to lost 10% of your weight.  While that is end goal, each month you are also given a percentage to win.  For month one the percentage to lose was 3%.  My starting weight for the challenge was 246.4.  At the end of the first month (middle of June) I weighed in at 233.8.

So I crushed the first month and was pretty happy with how the month went.  I'm going to attribute a lot of this change due to a food challenge I was doing...Julie's 21 Day Challenge.

During the 21 days of the challenge I had lost 8 pounds.  Most of the things on the list were pretty easy to give up.  Chocolate might have been the hardest.  I was pretty pleased with how the whole thing went.

Onto month 2....I hadn't stepped on the scale once in month two.  This week came around and I realized that there was only a little over a week until official weigh in day.  I figured I better get on the scale and see where I was.  In month 2, the percentage to lose is 6% and because I had such a good first month I only needed to get to 231.6 to win for the month.  I stepped on the scale and saw the following number - 237.8.  At first I was like WHAT?!?!?!?!?  How in the hell did that happen?  For a brief second I was a little upset, but that passed.  The old me would have been depressed and probably would have starved myself for the entire week to get to the goal number.  The current version of me...NOPE.  While I may not win the month 2 portion of the DietBet, it is not the end of the world.  So what happened you ask?  While I am not going to sit here, question, and nitpick every single thing I did in the last month...there are a couple of things that come to mind.  Let's start with the food....while I have eaten well in the last month (minus a few indulgences, but that's life and reality) I have eaten a lot more than I normally do.  I haven't been logging my food and counting my calories.  I have to say I have had a wicked appetite this month.  My portions (even if healthy) have been much bigger.  And I know the combination for weight loss is both the exercise and watching the calories.  Then, I think I have gained some muscle.  I can see changes in my body in certain areas.  I think wonder with all of the biking I am doing if I some of that muscle is in my legs, they certainly feel stronger with the climbs I have been doing.  So....I am going to officially weigh in next week with whatever the number might be and move onto month 3.  I'm going to try to go back to logging my food and counting calories.

In June I participated in the completed my first 5K.  My friend Gloria and I did Run or Dye, a very fun day.  While my friend does do some running I really am not much of a runner.  I will occasionally try to up the speed on the treadmill and do a little jogging.  It is really hard on my knees, but I try to do a little here and there.  So my goal for the day was to alternate between walking and a slow jog.  I have to say Gloria was so supportive of me.  I kept telling her that I hope I don't slow her down.  She said "this is your race today, we will go at your pace".  That was so wonderful of her and I felt much more relaxed.  In the end I think it helped me to jog more than I had planned.  While it wasn't timed it was very casual and fun.  Strategically placed through the course were dye stations where you would get covered with different colors of dye.  I really enjoyed the day, the company of my friend Gloria.  It was so nice to share this first with her and I so appreciate her being there to push me, inspire me, and motivate me.  I definitely don't want to give up on the idea of jogging more, but I feel like I need to get a little more weight off my knees for this to happen.  Maybe my next 5K will be a timed race with more running.  We shall see.

Since my last post I have really gotten more into the whole biking thing.  In my last post I had completed my end of summer goal - which was biking the GAP trail from Cumberland to Frostburg and back.  So I made a new end of summer goal, to ride the trail from Cumberland to Deal.  This is around 50 miles.  I've been trying to ride 3 to 5 times a week.  What I have been doing is getting in some smaller rides in the morning before work.  These were great ways to get some riding in and making the most of my morning.  While the week gave me some great short rides, the weekends are when I usually kicked it up a notch.  I have been gradually trying to increase the mileage.  I've also been doing different parts of the trail, trying to change it up so I don't get bored with keeping to do the climb.  There are so many beautiful areas on the trail (both the GAP and the C&O).  Also, since finishing my bike class I am now a member of the Western Maryland Wheelmen, a local biking group.  I have been out on a couple of rides with some of them and it has been so much fun.  I even did a beginner's road ride and did much better than I ever thought I would.  But I have to say I would never have made it through some of the hills without the help of Silvester, one of the members.  He stayed with me for the whole ride, giving me pointers and tips which I needed (especially on shifting), and saying the right words to motivate me over each climb.  I just couldn't nor can I thank him enough.  I still am learning and still have so many things to learn but that day gave me so much more confidence in myself.  I visually remember when Silvester and I came to the turnaround point where everyone else already was they were cheering me on and congratulating me for making it to that point.  Everyone I have met in the group has been so nice and oh so supportive.  It makes me think the skies are the limit in terms of biking.  I can do whatever I want to do.  I also did a group ride with some of the WMW on the C&O canal.  We rode from Cumberland to Old Town and had lunch.  It was a really nice ride, a great pace.  At one point I was evening in the front of the pack leading the pace.  I was told I was fast.  That made me smile. 

So, on the 4th of July it was such a beautiful morning and I knew it would be a great day for a ride.  My plan for the day was no plan....just wanted to get out there and enjoy a beautiful morning/afternoon.  A few miles in I just wasn't feeling it and thought this will be a short day.  Thankfully I didn't stop....and as I went past each mile and I was feeling so much better.  As I went past each landmark that I had previously passed in other rides, the better I felt.  Then I made it Frostburg...which was my original summer goal.  It was at that point that I just knew I was going to go the whole way to Deal.  So after a little rest stop in Frostburg, it was time for forge ahead.  As each mile passed I got more excited about the thought of what I was going to accomplish.

Then before I made it to my halfway point I had a very nice moment.  I was sitting on one of the benches at the overlook before the Big Savage tunnel enjoying a snack and a water break.  A woman that was having a picnic lunch with her family came over and long story short invited me to enjoy lunch with her family.  This meant a lot because on holidays I really miss not being close to my family and it was nice to be a part of someone else's for a little bit.  I enjoyed my lunch and the conversation, but then it was time finish my ride.  I made it through the tunnel, past the Continental Divide and I could see the Deal trail head in my sights.  I had made it.  But me being the numbers person that I am I knew that the 25 mile marker was a little bit past the trail head so of course I had to get to that point.  The emotions they were a flowing.  It was a challenging tide up, between the incline and I was also going against a pretty good wind that day.  But I did it!!!!!  So I took a few moments to enjoy it and then it was time for the downhill ride back.  I felt so great.

Since I have gotten my bike I have put 488.32 miles on it.  Wow...I am really surprised at that number, it adds up quickly.  I'm on the fence on whether or not to make a new end of summer goal or just savor reaching my goal and just enjoy the rest of the summer of biking.  I really love my trail bike and I can't believe I am saying this but I have actually been online looking at road bikes.  Yes, the person that said she really didn't want to do road riding.  It was fun though and a road bike would make it much easier.  Maybe a purchase for next spring...we shall see.

In addition to all the biking, I've also still been going to the gym, but not as much.  Because of my busy schedule and trying to get more bike rides in I have been missing what used to be some of my favorite classes and nights.  I honestly can't remember the last time I have been to a Booty Barre class.  I really do miss it but I'm a little afraid to try it again.  It is a booty kicker for sure.  Hopefully I can get back into it real soon.  I'm trying to have a very well rounded exercise routine, a little bit of this, a little of that....with a lot of biking.  I'm really trying to incorporate a little bit of everything.  The next thing I want to try....some yoga or pilates.  I was doing some reading on people that bike that in different places I read that they also do yoga and pilates.  Hmmmmmm....something to think about.  I really can't see my body doing either very well, but like everything else, I need to keep an open mind. 

I have to say I am feeling pretty great right now.  Even with the weight gain that I have had I really haven't felt better.  I feel like I am definitely on the right track for continued success and to become much healthier.  While on one hand I know I would be happy if I never lost another pound, I know that I need to keep losing.  I am still considered in the obese column and I know to live a long, happy and healthy life, I need get out of that column.  I also know that with each pound lost I can get away from some of the problems that occur with being overweight.  I know that things that I have in my family history and it makes me want to keep going.  I also know that with each pound lost I can take off some more pressure off the the knees, and maybe just maybe be a runner someday.

What helps right now especially with the few pounds that I have put back on is all of the positive feedback I have gotten the last week or so.  I have run into people who I haven't seen and the comments have been great.  It really helps to hear to what they say.  And there are those that I know that wouldn't tell me something if they didn't mean it.  So they are really noticing the changes when I don't always.  As I have said before, there are days that I look in the mirror and still see that FAT girl. 

In the near future I need to get back to getting excited about the food.  I have lost a little inspiration, so I need to get back into the kitchen and try some new things.  So I need to take a little time to start looking up recipes, and get back into being addicted to pinterest again.  There are so many great ideas.  I also want to play more with smoothies and blended drinks.  If I can get excited about the food again and not have the same old boring thing maybe that might help with the future progress.

In a couple of month I will finally be going home to Maine to see and spend some time with my family.  I haven't been home for almost two years and I have so many mixed emotions about this trip.  This journey has been all about me and becoming healthier and happier (which I have).  I am just so nervous about the reaction of my family and friends back home.  I hope they know that I am the same person, I just look smaller.

I could go on and on but I think I have hit the highlights since my last post.  For the most part....work, gym, biking, eating, and sleeping.

Here's to making this blogging thing become more frequent again....I promise I will try.