Where Did The Time Go - A Summer Recap

Seriously, where did the Summer go????  Even more importantly, how come I haven't been posting on my blog?  My last post was almost two months ago...I apologize (for those of you that do read this).  I gotta be honest I haven't been completely quiet, but I just found it so much easier to post things on my facebook page on a regular basis than open up my blog page and make a post.

As I lie in bed today taking a sick day (thanks to my family giving me their cold germs while I was back in Maine on vacation - keep fighting it and it hasn't become a full blown cold but the symptoms are dying to get out) I thought it would be a good time since I am lying in bed and not going anywhere to do some writing, reflecting, and look back on what was for the most part a pretty good summer.

Numbers - First things first, let's start with the numbers.  If you have been following me months ago I entered a DietBet competition.  The first two months I made my month but the last two months I haven't.  After my July weight in I was back to my 100 pound weight loss.  In the last two months I have gained back 10 pounds (I have updated my numbers page).  I'll be the first to admit, I haven't been perfect.  Although the weight gain is not something I am particularly excited about I also know there are so many others things just as important.  So, onto some other important numbers.  In August I had my yearly wellness exam with the doctor.  First, my blood pressure was pretty decent that day....which is usually really high as soon as I walk into the doctor's office.  I remember the day I was made to be put on blood pressure meds, thinking I will taking these stupid pills for the rest of my life.  With all the hard work the last couple of years I can continue to say I am not taking any of those meds anymore...YAY!!!  With the visit comes all the blood tests (yes, I didn't pass out this year) to check things.  My cholesterol is something that years ago was high in spots, one year it was my total number, another year it was my triglycerides number.  Let's just say I was pretty impressed with my results.  Below is this years results compared to last years.

                                            2013             2014          Difference       Percentage +/-

Total Cholesterol                  198              166             -32                      -16%

Triglycerides                          71                32              -39                      -55%

HDL                                       38                48              +10                     +26%

LDL                                      146              112              -34                      -23%

Such great progress.  Lots more work to do, but definitely headed in the right direction.  This definitely makes me feel better about my weight gain.  Even with the indulgences, I know that deep down that I am doing the right things, eating healthier, exercising more, and the numbers show that.

During my doctor appointment my doctor once again noticed a heart murmur.  So once again I was sent for an echo-cardiogram.  I also had one of these this year and was told that there was nothing to worry or being concerned.  But those that know me know I worry about EVERYTHING.  So knowing I had to have another of these tests again brought so many emotions.  I thought what a flipping waste of my time.  Seriously, will all of the exercise I have been doing lately....if something was wrong wouldn't I have known???  Then the scariness sets in....is something wrong?  Do I need to stop exercising?  Maybe I need to take it easy?  I hate how things like this make me feel.  Then comes the whole "a lot of good all this work that I am doing has done".  So, I fell off the food rails....one of my biggest struggles and always will be.  Emotional eating.....ugh.  Anyway, the results are a bunch of words that just plain confuse me.  All I got from my doctor was no need to worry, and we will do the echo-cardiogram again next year.  This is when I get annoyed.  If there is no need to worry, then why do I need to have it done again (which next year will be for the third year in a row).  So, I made them send the paperwork results so I could read them (not that I am going to know what any of it means).  Yup....lots of big words, see the word normal a lot (who knew I was normal...lol).  Two things on the report jumped out at me.....mild mitral regurgitation and mild tricuspid regurgitation.  I have done a little reading on it.  Basically it means that your valve doesn't close tightly all the time so blood occasionally flowed backward in the heart.  Your blood then can't move through your heart or the rest of your body efficiently, possibly making you feel tired or out of breath.  It said in mild cases that no treatment is necessary which is why I guess I was told not to worry about it.  But I have so many questions....can I make it better?  can it get worse?  what, if anything, can I do to make it better?  Is there anything I should be doing differently?  For peace of mind and my own sanity, I'm unsure and debating on whether to try to get an appointment with a cardiologist just so can they can tell me that everything is OK, what I need to worry or not worry about, and just tell what all the results mean in english.   Time will tell....but I can't let this stop me in my exercising anymore (which I did, I have to be honest).  I started constantly checking my heart rate during my classes and was afraid to push myself too much.  If something was truly wrong, I would feel it right?  I have to remember to just go for it, push myself, and just be mindful and listen to my body....AND STOP WORRYING SO DAMN MUCH!!!!

Goals - normally I give myself some monthly goals.  I really haven't been doing that the last couple of months (maybe why I have gained????).  I just knew things would be busy and didn't want to feel pressured.  However, at the beginning of the summer the gym I go go (Life Fitness Management) asked us to make three goals for the summer and send them to them so that they could check in with you at the end of the summer to see where you ended up.  I had kinda forgotten about this until I received an email from the gym this week asking me how I had done.  My three goals for the summer and how I did:

1.  To lose 18 pounds (which would have brought me back to my 100 pounds lost mark) - I was there at my July weigh in but then gained 10 back.  So my loss for the summer was 7.4 pounds.  I could be disappointed with this but why....it is still a loss.

2.  To put 400 miles on my new bike and attempt a 50 mile ride - I put 848 miles on my bike and did one ride that was over 50 miles.  I also did four rides between 40 and 50 miles.  Was really excited and surprised to see this number.  They do add up quickly.  There were weeks during the summer where I was getting small rides in almost every day before work, getting a ride in in the evening, and then some big rides on the weekends.  I can only imagine what this number might have been had I not taken a break to go on vacation.  Maybe next year I can make it 1,000 miles.  I have really enjoyed the time I have put in on my bike over the summer.  It has meant missing gym time and my favorite classes and instructors but I think it was something I needed to do.  I have to become more well rounded, change things up, and try new things.  I do dread colder weather and the end of the biking season but I will also enjoy getting back to the gym to take classes and see some familiar and friendly faces.

3.  To record 1 Million miles on my Fitbit -  During this period I registered 1, 476,197 steps on my Fitbit.  That's a lot of steps.  Getting steps for me can be so hard working and sitting at a desk all day.  So I have been trying to make a conscious effort to getting up more, trying different things to do to add a few more steps each day.  Since I've been biking more and missing classes, I have been spending more time in the morning getting some walking in (and even little bits of jogging).  I really want to try jogging, or dare I say even running more, but I feel like I need to wait until biking season is over before diving into this more.  My continued goal is try try keep my daily average at 10,000 steps.

As September comes to an end, I have a few days to sit down and come up with some new goals for the upcoming month(s).  Stay tuned.
 
Biking - Well, from seeing my goals section above you know that I have spent a good deal of time on the bike over the summer.  Morning rides, after work rides, weekend rides, short rides, long rides.  If the weather was nice and I had the time, I tried to get out on the bike and get in at least a few miles.  I spend time both on the GAP and the C&O during my rides.  Of course the bike riding it so much fun, and getting some great exercise is fabulous, but it is so nice to be outside enjoying nature and the beautiful weather we have had over the summer.  I really have to thank Miss Karen for having that extra bike, introducing me to the GAP, and taking me on a few rides last summer.  I can't believe in the 11 plus years that I lived down here in Maryland I am just recently finding out about the hidden gems of bike trails that we have here.  Such a blessing.  And the beautiful thing is each time to ride you see different sites, people, scenery.  From staring in the Spring and staring to see things bloom, to summer and all of the beautiful bold colors, flowers, wildlife.  Last week you can start to see Fall kicking in.  I am hoping the weather is great over the next month to enjoy the seasons change on the bike trail.  I remember some of the colors I saw last year and was reminded why Fall is clearly one of my favorite seasons.  Below are some pictures of some of my summers trips on both sides of the trail.  On the GAP I have now made it as far as Rockwood and on the C&O I have made it as far as Old Town.

 In August I participated in the charity ride that the Western Maryland Wheelmen do.  Each year they do a ride to raise money for Maryland Salem Children's Trust.  Each year they do a variety of different road rides and a ride on the GAP.  I decided to do the ride on the GAP from Cumberland to Frostburg.  The weather was iffy that day, so I went out early and did the entire ride by myself.  Most everyone did the road rides.  So I made it a ride to best my time to Frostburg and did so.  I don't remember now how much better I did but it was a good ride.

This last weekend I participated in my first Western Maryland Wheelmen Conquer The Mountain Ride.  The wheelemen are the bike group that I joined that I have talked about in previous posts.  Each year they do this ride up the GAP, leaving from Cumberland, going uphill to the Continental divide and returning.  There is a stop for lunch.  I have been looking forward to this since it was first talked about.  Technically, I have competed this ride already, myself back on July 4th (talked about in a previous post) but this was a chance to do it with others and get the chance to meet some new people from the group.  As the day approached I was a little nervous, after all I was riding with those who have been riding much longer than I, pretty much go a lot faster than I do, and are probably in better shape.  But I reminded myself that while on the few rides I have done with them they have taken me into the group, been so supportive and helpful, and we very friendly and encouraging.  So as the morning started my goal was to to try to best my previous time up the mountain.  Going on, I pushed myself a little too hard.  I think I kept thinking I don't want to be the slowest or hold anyone up.  I kept a really good pace through Frostburg and our pit stop.  Between there and our lunch stop I slowly began running out of steam.  At one point I wanted to stop and turn around, but I couldn't let that happen.  I am thankful for the different people along the way that rode beside me, talked to me.  Some familiar faces and some new ones.  That definitely helped during a few of those tough miles.  Then just as I wanted to stop (and felt like I really needed a break) someone was stopped ahead.  So we stopped (thank goodness).  One of the guys I was riding with had telling me miles before that there was a rattlesnake den somewhere on the ride up.  One of the guys stopped to show him where it was.  I got to see my first real live rattlesnake (from a little ways away and hopefully I never see one any closer).  But this little stop even to see a snake gave me a chance to rest a little and allow me to get back on the bike and finish the climb to the top.  Once to the Big Savage Overlook we had a nice lunch (thanks to the guys to carrying it up from Frostburg).  Had a nice lunch, had a chance to talk to and meet some new people, and was able to rest for a little bit.  Once lunch was over we went up a little further on the trail to finish the climb to the Continental Divide.  Then it was time for the ride back (downhill...YAY).  This part is always my most favorite part, but today was a whole new level of fun.  Minus one quick stop in Frostburg to drop off some stuff, it was a continuous ride downhill.  It was so cool to be in a line, going fast, drafting off others, at times barely peddling.  I looked down at one point and was going 23.5 miles per hour......so awesome.  It was such an amazing day.

I have met some of the nicest people through biking.  I have to say when I joined the group after finishing the bike group I felt like a little bit out an outsider.  But everyone has been so welcoming, friendly, helpful, giving the best advice.  Since I am a trail rider and the majority of the group are primarily road riders, I still feel like a little bit of an outsider.  Just so I am clear it is not because no one treats me that way (honestly, they couldn't be more friendly), it's just because I don't ride the road and they all have so much in common.  There is a group inside of the group called the Easy Riders, that do trail rides.  Unfortunately I am unable to join them on their rides because they are usually during the week during daytime hours when I am working.  It's been nice to go to the monthly meetings they have the last few months to actually learn more about what they are about and what they do.  I'm hoping in time I find my spot in the group whether it be to finally give road riding a try (still not sure  - sounds fun and they all seem to have a great time but still seems a little scary - time will tell....I know though that if I do make that jump I know that I have all of the best support in the world), find another way to make my mark in the group, or even just blend in and help out where I can.  It's just really nice to be part of such a great group.

Vacation - For months I have been looking forward to this, a trip back to Maine.  The thought about this trip has brought so many emotions - excitement, happiness, nervousness, fear.  I know what you are probably thinking, nervousness and fear, what?  This happens when I haven't been home for a while.  Something in me always thinks that people will forget about me, realize they don't miss me as much as they thought they did, not like me anymore.  I know, how silly, right?  The last time I was home was back in October 2012 - almost two years ago.  Add onto that I was also 100 pounds heavier.  I have been through so many changes in the last two years - physically, emotionally, and so many other ways.  I have been worried about what my family and friends would think.  I think of my Mom who many times during phone conversations would tell me that I was taking good care of myself, not eating, doing unhealthy things to lose the weight.  I know that she was just worried about me and I guess because she couldn't see me in person to see what I was doing that was her way of expressing it. 
Anyway, fast forward two years and to the day I flew home, on my 41st birthday.  In the last 11 plus years I have been flying back and forth to Maine I have struggled with weight issues and flying.  Since the beginning I could never close shut the seatbelt on the plane.  There were so many times I would pretend to put it together and then put a jacket or sweater over my lap.  Probably not the safest thing.  Then one time the flight attendant noticed that I wasn't buckled in, she asked me to buckle in.  I told her I couldn't and it wouldn't fit.  Everyone around me heard it and I was mortified "Oh, look, the fat girl can't buckle her seatbelt".  She brought me a seat belt extender and told me to be sure to return it to her after the flight.  From them on, each time I asked for the extender I felt so embarrassed.  Then there is seat room.  It was always a tight fit and if a full flight I sometimes sat besides people that weren't very nice that they had to share their space.  I remember one time in particular where a women looked at me said "you should have bought two seats".  A few others around her laughed.  Again, mortified.  So, this time around I went to get on the plane and it was a full flight.  There weren't many seats available by the time I got on so I basically had to find an empty seat and just get seated.  I found a seat and sat down.  Oh my, there was extra room between me and the guy beside me....phew.  Then came the time to put on the seat belt.  Not only did I get it closed but I had extra room and was able to tighten it.  Yup...I cried.  It's funny the little things that permanently stick in your head and never go away.  No more extended seat belts and no more looks, snickers, and so on about being the "fat girl" on the plane.
From the moment I got off the plane I was surrounded by family, friends, and lots of love.  I really couldn't get over and had a hard time with some of the reactions.  Without even a word I could just see the look on their faces....pride, excitement, just pure happiness for me and what I have accomplished.  It was so nice.  That being said, there is still something that I have to work on...taking compliments.  I really never have and just don't do it very well.  I remember one particular case where my cousin comes up to me at my homecoming party, gives me a great big hug, and says "you look so skinny".  Instead of saying thank you my response was "No, I'm not".  I don't know why I just can't take compliments well but I really need to learn to take it in, embrace it, and say thank you.  Something to continue to work on.  And I remember my Mom, when we finally had some alone time.  She gave me hug and said to me "after finally seeing you in person I now know how much hard work you have been doing and that you have been doing the right and the healthy way.  I am so proud of you".  That meant the world to me.
Such a great trip and so much different than usual.  Most usually when I go home I am on the go and always on the run, tiring myself out to see as many people as possible.  This time (maybe because it had been so long since visits) I decided to stay close to home and relax.  I am bummed that I didn't get to see as many people, but I have to admit I left Maine feeling so much more rested and relaxed than I usually do.  Usually by the time I get back home to Maryland I am exhausted.  Lot's of family time, some best friend time, some football time, some nephew time.  I actually managed to even get in lots of walking.  One night my mother, sister, and I cooked dinner together.  Mom and I had gone to the local farmer's market and picked up some fresh veggies.  It was nice to cook a healthy meal with the family.  I actually got the family to try spaghetti squash and made them roasted carrots, and of course had to have Wyman's fresh corn on the cob.  I ate pretty good while I was home but had to pass up the broiled option and get fried seafood.  I nomally don't eat much fried food, but this was definitely an exception.  I didn't have any red hot dogs while I was home but I did pack some into my suitcase to have the occasional indulgence after getting back home.  The one bad habit I did get back into was drinking soda again.  I drank a lot of water too, but every time I was out I caught myself ordering soda again.  Forgot how much I missed the bubbles.  So needless to say, I need get back to gradually removing that again from the daily "diet".  Below are a few pics from vacation.  I didn't even take a lot of pictures this time, too busy relaxing.

I'm sure there are things that I am forgetting about since my last post, but this is all I got for now (which is probably more than enough - one more reason to post more often...lol).  I know I keep saying it, but I so have to get better at posting more often so I don't have to get so long winded.  Sorry.

There have been some tough and emotional times lately (which I don't care to get into at this point).  But all is well and it is time for me get back to focusing on me again, embracing life, and not letting others distract me from myself.

Even on this sick day, I received a pretty exciting phone call this morning with some exciting news.  In case anyone reads this I will keep you all guessing until it is official. 

October brings a busy month.  Hopefully more biking, a breast cancer walk, and whatever else life brings my way.

Until then.....time to continue this journey and get back to taking care of me again.

Lots of love and blessings.